Let me tell you about addiction, or to be more specific, the fine line between it and escapism that is walked far too frequently in my opinion. It pains me to say this, and I know for a fact that it will cause me much grief in the short-term, but I have been thinking about what I should do for some time now, and although it is far from perfect as far as plans go, I think it is the best one I can hope to act upon here. I can’t emphasize enough when I say I apologize in advance! With all of the formalities out of the way, let’s dive right into this, shall we?
I am not good with words, so I will put this quite bluntly, my life is fucking awful at the moment, and although it has taken me quite some time to actually accept this fact, I have accepted it nonetheless. I can’t really blame anyone but myself for this, despite how much I would love to have something that I could point a finger at, I feel like doing so wouldn’t really help anything.
Back when I was still not aware of MSPA, I was an entirely different person, I was almost certainly an optimist, I tried my hardest to make everybody happy, but alas, this goal was doomed by its very nature. I thought of myself as a smart person, but I was very insufferable when it came to social interactions and ethics, by trying to make everyone happy, I was just driving them away, and I was always feeling very sad, and rejected by my peers. Then I discovered the forums, and although it was a slow process, I eventually realized how alienating I truly was! For a while after this realization, I was truly happy both psychologically and socially for once in my life, and it was a truly amazing experience, despite how short it ultimately was in the grand scheme of things.
Eventually however, things in the real world spiralled downwards. My mother announced she was going back to South Korea to teach ESL for another year after staying in Canada for 4 months rather contently, and my father was having concerns about his relationship that would be slow burning start to the long, violent end of his current relationship at the time, and suddenly the short period of tranquility in my life decided to fall part like a house of cards. In hindsight, I started to grow truly paranoid about maintaining my happy online life on the forums at about this time, and forgot why I was finally being accepted and welcomed by the community in the first place, and became what I know recognize as a yes-man.
Looking back, this is quite ironic in a certain sense of the word, by just nodding my head and trying to make everybody happy and agree with me, I have become an overly pessimistic version of what I originally was, only without the one good thing about the younger me’s personality, the cheerful optimistic outlook! I cringed just the slightest bit when I made that connection writing this post.
I should probably get to what is really important though, I have been dancing around the issue for quite some time now, and I don’t think there is anything else that really needs explaining about this decision I am making. So, to put it simply, I am leaving this little community we have made and abandoning the piester identity, for lack of a better word, this was all very good for a while, but it has taken hold of my life like a ball and chain around my ankles, and it has lost all of the appeal it once had in bountiful amounts. Please don’t take this the wrong way! I was never trying to say the problem was with anybody in particular here, hell, it’s gonna be quite difficult for me to move on because of how great some of you people are.
I’ll let those of you whom I’m truly close friends with know about what I am gonna do next, and you can certainly join in and still be friends with me! But I warn you, I will almost certainly be trying to get back to how I was when I truly enjoyed these forums, or maybe I’ll be completely different, I can’t say at the moment, but one thing is given at this point, I will be a much different person then I am right now, I am tired of being a dumb parrot, going about my day bobbing my head vertically and mimicking other people to fit in, it accomplishing nothing but new frontiers in weighing down on me psychologically.
If I lose contact with you, and I really hope I don’t, I’m just going to say keep on rocking, and to all the #crocmom-ers, keep on doing your own crazy thing, you’ve gone too far to stop now, you’re like a derailed train that is also a bachelor party!
Here is a character design for an idea I’ve been tinkering around with that I might act upon at some point! I call him Perry!
Perry is sort of a deconstructive look at the concept of the standard mute JRPG protagonist with no apparent personality besides metrosexuality. Unlike most of those wigs with unsettlingly noodle-like legs, Perry has a personality and sensible hair!
Perry is a quiet kid who lives in the isolated town of Walrus’ Maw, a tightly nit community composed mostly of the workers at the nearby oil rig and their families. Perry spends most of his days alone, his father works until long after Perry is asleep at the rig, and his mother works as the town’s only pilot, and due to the lack of roads, the only real way out of, and usually into, the town.
He doesn’t have many friends besides his neighbour Arkham, who is usually exploring the nearby woods in their spare time, for a reason that he could never really fully understand. For all these reasons, Perry is quite bored and slightly sad most of the time, with nothing but a large collection of boring old books for boring old adults to entertain him in the loosest definition of the word.
(His body proportions kind of look like something out of Zelda: Wind Waker I guess, that was unintentional, but I can’t really complain, Wind Waker was one of my favourite games as a kid!)
“September 3rd 1678,
We finally hit hospitable land today, an event which, after three consecutive days of heavy storms, I personally take as a good sign of things to come. While I have not gotten the chance to get off the boat myself, the captain sent out a group to explore the area and see if it was safe a few hours back.
I have some suspicions about the purpose of this voyage. I admit my knowledge about the voyage may be a bit lacking, seeing as my entry aboard the ship was dubiously sanctioned, but I still find the idea of a captain sending people to scout out an area in most contexts a bit odd. Should we be expecting something dangerous on this trip?
I will write more about this situation later today, as I suspect something shady is going down here.
“September 3rd 1678 (Night Time),
The search party didn’t come back, while I am trying really hard to think of alternative explanations, I can’t help but assume something on this island ended the poor fools’ lives. The captain seems to think the same thing, as we have waited until night to get on the island to gather supplies. I cannot fathom why waiting would help in that case, but regardless, the false sense of security calms me the slightest amount.
I can’t help but notice an abundance of almost unnatural seeming tunnels into the ground. Seeing them my anxious mind is riddled with memories of the frightening tales my grandmother used to tell me before I slept about the Ignus.
The Ignus were supposedly a fearsome kingdom in the days of myth, it was ultimately driven to pointless bloodshed in its endless search for glory. They took every colony they crossed that did not surrender in fear without fault for years. Eventually they came across the home of Zyco, the god of Flora’s chosen people. There they slaughtered every single soul they came across, male or female, old or young, it did not matter to them, they killed them all.
This Angered Zyco to the point of furiousness, and in this state of rage he put a curse on all the land the Ignus had claim too. In the weeks following the massacre all the plant-life in their territory shrivelled, and then weeds and vines ripped out of the earth, sprawling across what used to be towns.
Left with no other options, the Ignus went underground, scavenging for any roots they could find and trying to get substance from the abundant amounts of rocks they found. Eventually they took after the moles, digging out caverns connected by tunnels not unlike the ones I see here today. In this miserable and pathetic state their eyes grew weak and small from the perpetual darkness of the caves, and their ears grew long and sensitive so they could hear and catch vermin to eat. They only ever left these caves at night to hunt, so that the sunlight didn’t blind them.
Bless my Grandmother’s kind old heart, but she did tell some rather unusual, sometimes even frightening stories to me as a child, they probably scarred me for life, or at the very least contributed to my over-active, paranoid imagination.
I hear some rustling nearby, writing this I can’t help feeling anxious, I’ll go search for the source of the sound, so I can put my anxious thoughts to rest for a while.
“August 24th 1678,
I have been at sea for 15 days as of this writing, and besides one unfortunate run-in with a band of pirates, my social interactions have been limited to those that have taken place with the rest of my crew. I fear the notable lack of amusements aboard the vessel may be starting to take a toll on my mental wellbeing. I am writing this journal (which some my less civilized crew members think is a fancy word for a diary.) as a distraction from this god forsaken vessel, although I presume any relief gained from writing in this will be temporary at best, my admittedly optimistic outlook on this journey leads me to think we will almost certainly hit land before I grow bored of this activity.
If you are reading this and you possess no knowledge of me, allow me to explain. My name is Will Rockhopper, before I boarded this vessel, dubbed “The Argonaut”, I was a citizen of Clearbreeze Island, the last major human settlement in the Vast Reef. Clearbreeze has been quickly collapsing into madness in recent years, coal supplies are dwindling, and with it so is the power supply for the majority of human technology. I always said coal was an idiotic fuel source, but no man dared listen to me, looking at them now, I laugh at the fate their collective ignorance brought.
All of these developments aside, today has been a day unworthy of being written about in this journal, my cabin-mate is off drinking their sorrows, and everybody else is on about the same level of incompetence regarding their activities. The same scenario as every other day and night, regardless of the hour.
Actually, on second thought, the boredom might be taking a faster toll on my mental health then I stated earlier in this entry, my GODS do I hope that we hit land soon, I can only take so many acts of buffoonery.
So I have decided to do an adventure on tumblr, as all the files for my old adventures were lost in the moving of data to my laptop, and I feel empty without a project (or a bajillion) on my plate.
Also, The decision was partially because I think the forums are turning into a total shitstorm, but mostly the previous reason!
Check it out!!!
EDIT: Unlocked it, it should work now, sorry about that! I had to make some last minute changes.
Jit makes stuff: oh whoops I just said calliope is an ugly kermit puppet -
you know what, no
come at me, bro
calliope is an ugly kermit puppet COME AT ME BRO I’M SAYING IT WITH FULL CONFIDENCE CALLIOPE IS UGLY KERMIT PUPPET
IF THERE IS NO SLASH FIC BETWEEN THE TWO THAT REFERENCES THE “TG: an obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across…
Another character bio for Quasi-Science Theatre 8.4! Yay! (Speaking of which, I finally decided on a title, as you can see!)
This fella’ right here goes by the name Tali! Tali is the vessel of the Devil’s most unskilled employee, who is temporarily stuck at the receiving end of one of his own contracts’s downsides, forcing him to benefit the Reginald family in any way they desire for the next twelve generations, and at no personal gain, to boot!
While Nocks was still an infant, his father had the bizarre thought that a hell-spawn would make a good companion for the growing boy, and deigned a robotic shell for the demon to operate in, to limit his powers to the point of being something less then omnipotent.(But only slightly less, after all, what is the point of having a demon if you aren’t going to abuse the fuck out of its powers?)
Nocks received him as a birthday present the following year, and a one-sided friendship has grown ever since. Tali couldn’t be anymore unamused by this turn of events, and inconveniences Nocks at every opportunity that isn’t technically breaking the contract, as an attempt to make Nocks realize “Hey! This dude LOATHES me!”, but to no avail. Nocks’s sort of stuck in his own world full of unicorns and rainbow flavoured tacos, to him they are basically the bestest of friends in the whole entire cosmos!
More webcomic stuff??? Oh geez.
So my idea for handling story-lines was dividing the comic into self contained, two months of updates long “episodes”, so that new readers could just start reading from any point they wanted and not miss that many important details.
I’m not saying there wont be an overarching plot, to reward long-time readers, but it will mostly be in the background. A mythology of some sorts, if you will, to the setting. Like what was going to happen in Invader Zim had it not been cancelled. (jeez another thing based on invader zim oh my god sue me if you care so much.)
Here are a couple of ideas for these episodes! Apologies if my english is off, I have to go to an exam soon and don’t have time to run it through a metaphorical red pen!
“Attack of the Candyteers!”
Nocks is in a bit of a dilemma regarding finances. The School bully keeps on confusing his mad sciencey-stuff(sic) money for his lunch money, and being the walking idiotic cliche he is, the bully takes it every day, robbing Nocks of at least one hundred buckaroos (Buckaroos isn’t just me using stupid words here, it is the national currency in the story.) every day.
One otherwise uneventful night, a giant mechanism plummes from the sky and lands on top of the staff’s quarters, leaving nothing but a crater and rubble. The next day, a candy shop appears where the mechanism landed. Nocks couldn’t be more happy about this turn of events, because as it turns out, they are hiring ‘Supply Wranglers’, whatever that means, and for more then minimum wage too!
Marxell however, is tad bit suspicious about the legality of killing a bunch of people and setting up shop on their premature grave, and when students start disappearing at night, he decides to investigate. Shenanigans ensue presumably.
“The Cloned and the Slightly Damned.”
After a major bug in the school’s backup clone supply, the school staff are forced to contemplate its “Five deaths, one kid.” policy, and potentially drop the number of backups per kid to the dangerously low amount of two.
Marxell, concerned about his dangerous lifestyle of repeatedly trying to end Nocks’ life, contacts the head clone technician, only to learn that due to his unique biology he never even had any clones in the first place. Marxell becomes increasingly paranoid and anti-social in the following weeks. It gets to the point that he invents an indestructible safety bubble and lives a content, isolationist life inside it.
Nocks feels sick to his stomach whenever he sees his arch-nemesis in this happy state of existence, so he looks for ways to do the impossible, and destroy the indestructible, so his extremely deadly life can go back to being extremely deadly.